Attention please! Would the SEC and the Big 10 please report to Mr. Marshall’s office? You are needed in there immediately if not sooner.
“Hello guys, y’all have a seat. Thanks for coming right up. Hope this doesn’t cut into your break time too much, but I’ve got a few things I need to get straight with the two of you.
“Look, I know y’all are all into yourself and don’t realize there’s more to college football than just the two of you, but here’s something you need to do more than just think about, so listen carefully.
“Do what’s right for college football. Period.
“Hang on, hang on. Stay in your seats. You can leave when I’m finished, but not yet.
“I knew both of you have a commissioner who is solely focused on what’s best for the members. Or at least, that’s the party line they love to spew out. How about y’all stepping up and actually being leaders instead of being led but these squeeze-out-every-last-dollar briefcase carriers you call commissioners? Remember, they work for you.
“First of all, y’all got to realize there’s a whole big world of college football out there that stretches beyond the treehouses you’ve been building for the last few years. And the NO TRESPASSING sign is taking things a little too far, don’t you think?
“Let’s start with you, Big 10. Nice math, by the way. Big 10 What? ‘Cause it ain’t 10 schools and hasn’t been for a long time. Aren’t you supposed to be institutions of higher learning with that arithmetic?
“It has come to my attention that you are trying to ramrod this garbage about how you and your SEC buddy deserve to have a minimum of four teams in the college football playoff. Yeah, great job by Indiana last year. That doesn’t exactly help your case. And shame on you for dragging the SEC into this argument. Year in and year out, they have at least four deserving teams. Once in a blue moon that is not the case and if you’d have checked the skies last December, you would have seen that blue moon.
“If you’re so dang good, then you shouldn’t have to worry about mandating four teams. But nooooo, you think you deserve it even though you have about as much depth as the kiddie pool at the Elks Club.
“Hang on SEC, you’re not off the hook here either. All of this hem-hawing about playing nine conference games or not playing nine conference game is ridiculous. And you’ve got one of your athletic directors walking around screaming ‘We will play nine but we have to be protected!!!’ Protected from what? Going 8-and-4 every year?
“Repeat after me, guys: DO WHAT’S RIGHT FOR COLLEGE FOOTBALL.
“Not mandating automatic playoff berths is right for college football. Playing nine conference games is right for college football.
“The problem with you guys is that you don’t realize that you can win and everybody else can win. We’re not talking about winning games; we are talking about winning college football back.
“Look, we all know that NIL and the transfer portal are not your problem. You can’t be expected to fix it. Nor should you. But there’s a little piece of college football dignity still out there that can be had if you would stop all the posturing and saber-rattling and just do what the sport that made you great really needs these days.
“When you leave this office, I want you to remember there’s more to college football than just these little financial consortiums y’all got working. The ACC and the Big 12 aren’t going to overtake you any time soon, so stop feeling threatened. Stop making them sit at the kiddie table.
“Any questions? Good, there shouldn’t be. Back to work!”
Contact JJ at johnjamesmarshall@yahoo.com