Stressing over your Super Bowl pick?
Don’t. It’s the Philadelphia Eagles. No three straight championship rings for the Kansas City Chiefs.
Surely you’re frustrated by how the NFL striped shirts seem to give Patrick Mahomes and pals break after break after break. Chill. Change is coming.
Ticked off about the Luka Doncic trade? Relax. Luka Legend will be back in the DFW Metroplex soon, playing for the home team.
I’m not saying the Chiefs might not outscore the Eagles Sunday night in New Orleans. In the process, it seems inevitable that Mahomes and his homies will get a helpful call or three – despite NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell trying to claim impartiality by the guys with flags and whistles.
Get a good look at Luka in Lakers’ gear. But don’t get used to it.
And if you winced Sunday when you heard the news that Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, supposedly signaling six more weeks of winter, give me a break.
Because I fully expect President Trump to give us a break.
Before he headed out for the tour of Inaugural Balls two weeks ago, 47 began rolling out far-reaching executive orders, fulfilling campaign promises, creating high anxiety among the opposition and in some cases, befuddling constitutional scholars.
He’s treating the status quo like Play-Doh.
He’s confronted Canada. And Denmark. And Venezuela, Columbia, the European Union, and Mexico. He is suggesting our neighbors to the north would make a fine 51st state. Greenland should be our land.
Our country voted for change, and we’re getting it in blizzard proportions.
So far, he’s focused on governmental priorities and his political agenda, as everybody expected.
But considering the major stories in the sports world, it’s only a matter of time. And he’s not wasting any.
President Trump once owned a pro football franchise, the USFL’s New Jersey Generals, and made several attempts to buy an NFL team – Dallas, New England, Buffalo and Baltimore were targets.
As sure as the Manning brothers will be in more than one commercial this weekend, DJT is not steering clear of sports.
Regardless of the final score Sunday night, he will decree the Eagles are champions. He’s used that strategy previously.
This time, there’s dual purpose in the rationale – even though Philly’s not his favorite city, he did graduate from college(Penn) there, and Pennsylvania is a swing state that he carried this time around. Lifelong Eagles fan Taylor Swift, who is not on Trump’s friends list, cheers for the Chiefs nowadays.
NFL referees? Have you been watching what he’s doing with the FBI?
As for Luka, 47 has no fondness for anything having to do with Los Angeles. He carried Texas and has a comrade in arms in Lone Star Gov. Greg Abbott. President Trump is shipping out illegal aliens, but an executive order voiding the Doncic deal can bring one foreign import, tariff free, back to the Big D.
Considering the status of the Keystone State’s groundhog (who has been shooting under 40 percent on his annual forecasts), no doubt that DJT from NYC favors Staten Island Chuck, who calls ‘em correctly 85 percent of the time (according to the Staten Island Zoo). Chuck says we’re getting an early spring, again, a very popular take.
Reality check: surely our President won’t deign it worth his time to dabble in such relatively trivial matters, not while he’s draining the swamp and redesigning the world order.
But we can’t rule it out.
Besides, he’s our only hope to avert the Doncic Disaster.
Contact Doug at sbjdoug@gmail.com