They can say what they want, but there’s a clear reason why Georgia beat Texas last week in the SEC Championship game. Both teams have outstanding defenses and are full of athletes and all of that, but it’s obvious why Texas came out on the business end of the final score.

The Longhorns were at a decided disadvantage in this game.

No Bevo.

The SEC, in its infinite wisdom, wouldn’t allow the Texas mascot to be in Mercedes-Benz Stadium because allegedly there “wasn’t enough room.” Translated, that meant “we aren’t exactly thrilled that you qualified for the conference championship game in your first year, so we are going to stick it to you.”

However UGA, the Georgia mascot, was in attendance. Of course he was.

These two have a history. Bevo and UGA (a previous version) had a little tete-a-tete in the 2018 Sugar Bowl when people who should know better thought it was a good idea to get a 1,700-pound longhorn and a 50-pound bulldog together for a photo op. What could go wrong with that?

Bevo would have none of it. And good for Bevo for marking his territory. When you are the top live mascot in all of college football, there’s a certain understood dominance that comes with it.

You are free to make your own list, but I have done years of study on this matter and am here to present the Top 5 Live Mascots in college football.

1. BEVO (Texas):Thanks to my father, who played on the freshmen football team at Texas (the “Shorthorns”), I have been hearing about Bevo since I even knew what football – or steak – was. Bevo just has a presence as if he is well aware that all the others are playing for second place. He’s a perfect representative of the state of Texas, so they got that right going back all the way to 1916. There have been 15 Bevos and every one of them is cooler than the one before.
2. UGA (Georgia):It’s not UGA’s fault that some idiot tried to pair him up with Bevo, but getting summarily dismissed like that is a tough thing to get over. UGA is just a symbolic name; the current one is UGA XI and is actually named Boom. The air-conditioned doghouse that UGA has during games to escape the Georgia is a fantastic look, but equally necessary since heat exhaustion is always an issue with bulldogs.
3. RALPHIE (Colorado):True story – when Colorado came to the Independence Bowl in 2007, I went to the game specifically to see Ralphie circle the field and then get led back into the pen. (I didn’t even notice Nick Saban on the other sideline.) The whole thing lasted maybe a minute and it was one of the first things I ever recorded on my flip phone (don’t judge me; you had one too!). Ralphie, you may know, is a female, but Ralphette didn’t quite have the same elan to it, so they try to keep that under wraps. A male is too tough to handle for even an experienced handler and everyone agrees that one little slip-up in front of 50,000 people might not end well. And there is also this – Ralphie isn’t even a buffalo; he/she is a bison. Yes, there is a difference.
4. MIKE (LSU):He may be fourth on this list, but Mike is No. 1 when it comes to living conditions. The folks in Baton Rouge do it right for their guy and for my money, the tiger ranks at the top in the Magnificent Animal category. But the mascots ranked above Mike get their spot because they actually get to be at the games while he just hangs out at the crib. But with those digs, who can blame him?
5. TUSK (Arkansas):I started to go with one of two dogs in this spot – Reveille (Texas A&M) or Smokey (Tennessee) – but Arkansas mascot goes so well with the whole woo, pig, sooie thing that it has to be in the ranking. The dogs are cute, but they don’t really do much other than bark. (At least UGA is willing to mix it up a little bit.) But Tusk, a Russian boar, is certainly the ugliest mascot in college football – which is exactly why he is so great.

FOOTNOTE: Couldn’t put USC or Florida State on this list. Traveler (USC) and Renegade (FSU) are nice, but they are more symbols than mascots.

DISHONORABLE MENTION: Humans who dress up as mascots should be banned like the transfer portal. Here’s looking right at you Notre Dame (leprechaun), Ohio State (Brutus) and Miami (Sebastian the Ibis). But nothing – repeat nothing – is as bad as the Stanford Tree. 

Contact JJ at johnjamesmarshall@yahoo.com