Imagine the confusion that breaks loose at a Haughton football practice when first year coach Matthew Sewell calls for a player and doesn’t do a great job of enunciating.
If he yells out something that sounds like “Hey Jadenget over here,” you’d better get out of the way because you might get run over.
Does he mean Jay’lan Abney or Jaiden Walker? Maybe it’s Jaden Keith. Or Jayden Lackey. You never know, it could be Jadon Turner or Jadyn Howard.
One thing is for sure: Whoever was in charge of naming babies in Haughton in the late 2000s didn’t get past the page where all of the “J-A” names were located.
Then again, Haughton isn’t the only one.
Check out the Southwood roster, where Jaden Carter, Javious Washington, Jalen Woodard, Jaden Douglass, Javion Moore, Jason James, Jamil Green, Jamarcus Lacy, Jason Mosley, James Harris, Jaden Lewis and Ja’Milton Coleman are all on the Cowboys’ roster.
Are we just ignoring the other letters in the alphabet?
Great names have been a part of sports as long as the games have been played. Sure, Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle are perfect baseball names but other sports have them as well. And in some cases, it’s as if they play positions based on their names.
Who was more likely to be a graceful wide receiver, a guy named Lynn Swann or Dick Butkus?
For a while, it seemed as if Oklahoma had someone in the football office whose only job was to come up with great running back names. You don’t think Elvis Peacock, Horace Ivory and David Overstreet just happened by accident, do you?
Apparently at Parkway, initials will suffice since the Panthers have C.J. Dudley, D.D. Oliver, J.P. McGovern and K.J. Burts on their roster. They also have Carmaro Mayo and you can’t help but think how much better that first name would be if it had one less consonant.
Southwood’s Deaievon Adams could probably use a consonant, since he strong together four straight vowels in his first name. All he’s missing is a “u” and he’d win on his vowel bingo card.
Loyola coach John Sella stopped worry about spelling – and pronouncing – a long time ago when it came to his offensive line. All previously known rules of the alphabet are out the window for the Flyers with two linemen of Polish descent – seniors Jack Budziszeweski and James Scott Wojtkiewicz.
Sella doesn’t even try, so one goes by “Bambino” (“Beeno” for short) and the other is “Wojo.” That saves a lot of people a lot of linguistic embarrassment.
Then there is Evangel, where geography reigns supreme. The Eagles have a (Peyton) Houston, a (Shawn) Boston and a London (George).
Speaking of Peyton Houston, Captain Shreve also has one of those. He’s a senior linebacker, not a sophomore quarterback as is the case with the Evangel star.
After a thorough search through the local football rosters, there are a few names that truly stand out.
Cash Miles (Haughton) can work in any sport.
There’s something to be said for being named Beaux Free (Benton), Zeus Arthur (Airline) or Ben Jump (Airline).
Shouldn’t Byrd’s Christopher Square been given uniform number 4, just on general principle?
Solomon Jammer (Evangel) would be a winner in almost any year, but you can always count on Booker T. Washington to come through with a solid choice to win the 2024 Name Game.
Would you expect any else from Marvelous Jackson?
Contact JJ at johnjamesmarshall@yahoo.com