National Family Caregivers Month (NFCM) is celebrated every November to recognize and support family caregivers. The month is led by the Caregiver Action Network (CAN), a nonprofit that provides resources, education, and peer support. The 2024 theme for NFCM is #I Care.
Caregiving is job unto itself. As we get older we are often tasked with caring for a parent or spouse with physical or cognitive issues. Roles become reversed, dynamics are shifted, and a new balance must be restored. It is physically and mentally draining. It can be financially difficult. It is often isolating.
I never thought much about caregiving before now.
“So-and-so is taking care of her mom in her house now.”
“That’s nice,” I’d respond.
No, that’s not “nice” I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older. It’s hard and it can be frustrating and demanding and heartbreaking.
I’ve spoken to caregivers who haven’t slept for days because their loved one wanders all night and won’t stay in bed. I’ve heard from women who work all day and come home and care for a disabled spouse or child all night. I know two men who lovingly sat by their wife’s side for a couple of years as she lost all recollection of who they were. I have friends who agonized over placing loved ones in a facility when at-home care became too physically demanding or too dangerous for the relative.
Caregiving is tough and the caregiver’s job is often overlooked by friends and taken for granted by family. It can be a solitary endeavor that leaves little room for socialization. Whether it is caregiving for a child with special needs, a spouse, or a parent/grandparent, a support network is vital.
Here are some ways to be a part of a support network for family caregivers:
Listen: Let caregivers talk about their experiences without offering advice. Sometimes they just need someone to listen.
Offer help: Make specific offers of help, like helping with chores, running errands, bringing a meal, or doing yard work. Don’t rely on a caregiver to just let you know what they need.
Invite them: Continue to invite caregivers to outings and gatherings, even if you know they might not be able to come.
Provide respite care: Many caregivers cannot afford respite care. Offering to sit with their loved one while they run an errand, take a bath, or catch a movie may take a couple of hours out of your day but make a lifetime of difference for the caregiver.
Surprise with a gift: Many patients outlive their caregivers because the stress of caring for their loved one is so physically taxing and self-care is nonexistent. Gift a caregiver with an at-home spa basket or gift card to their favorite restaurant. Send a cheery note with a stuffed animal or some little token that lets them know they are cared for.
Share support groups: Online and in-person groups are vital for caregivers. Many churches host monthly support group meetings for caregivers of dementia patients or parents of special needs children. Facebook has similar support groups, including an Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregivers Support with over 60,000 members. Encourage those who feel isolated to join a network of support.
30 Days of Happy: Make it a month of caregiver celebration. Drop a little “happy” off on your caregiver’s doorstep each day: fresh flowers, a favorite candy bar, refrigerator art (enlist your child or grandchild in the project, explaining why you are doing this so that may grow up with empathy for caregivers as well).
If you are a family caregiver, reach out to others and remember the first rule of flying: you must put on your own oxygen mask first. Sometimes people don’t realize what a difficult job it is and would be happy to help if they knew.
If you know a caregiver, do one or more things from the above list. A family caregiver’s life is 24/7 service to another. This is the month to serve them just a little.
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Jeanni Ritchie is a contributing journalist from Central Louisiana. She can be reached at jeanniritchie54@gmail.com.