Hey, Major League Baseball, you’re kidding right? Please tell me I’m not seeing what I’m thinking I’m seeing.

There are now logos on the batting helmets for every team throughout the post-season? That can’t be right.

Not only that, it’s for a company that no one has ever heard of. And it’s not even an American company.

I have no idea what Strauss is, does or sells. And what is with the ostrich in part of the logo? (Which seems more than appropriate, given that we’d all like to bury our heads in the sand rather than look at these abominations.)

Is it Levi Strauss? If that’s the case, then I’d figure that all the players would be equipped with slim-fit denim. Is it Johann Strauss, the Austrian composer? Let’s all waltz around the bases!

I’m so hacked off about this whole thing that I’m boycotting any Strauss or Strauss-related product.  Whatever they are.

Because you are dying to know, the reason for the ostrich is because the German word for ostrich is “strauss.” (A.) I couldn’t make that up and (B.) Feel free to share that with your friends and family.

The craziest part of this whole thing is the timing. For once, MLB did the right thing and changed its collective minds over something every red-blooded, baseball-loving American has been saying for the last few years – GET RID OF THE STUPID “LEAGUE UNIFORMS” IN THE ALL-STAR GAME!

Happily, someone came to his/her senses and made it happen.

And the good feeling from that lasted about 18 seconds. Because now, we have to deal with this helmet sticker ridiculousness.

There’s only one word to describe what it’s like when you first see the helmet ads – jarring. So much so that it takes away from watching the actual game. Is the sticker on both sides or only one? Are they also on the catcher’s helmets?

I’m so happy to know that we now have an “Official Workwear of Major League Baseball,” as the media release says. Don’t know how long we have survived this long without one.

So how did all of this come about? As TV executive Don Ohlmeyer once said, “the answer to all of your questions is money.”

Donny boy, you are right once again. Apparently, $15 million is the price to trivialize a sport at its most crucial time of the year. It’s one thing to do it when two teams are playing in Japan at the start of the 2000 season – who even noticed back then? – but when it’s time for your showcase event of year and you dumb it down as much as possible, well that’s something different entirely.

Entirely stupid.

The founder of Strauss, a German conveniently named Henning Strauss, stumbled upon an MLB game when he was kid. He ended up with a few million burning a hole in his pocket, so what better way to show off than doing something as tacky as possible, figuring that the American public couldn’t get enough of some quality canvas overalls.

Yes, MLB teams have been wearing patches on their sleeves for a while and its mildly bothersome, but it’s far from going full NASCAR. At least not yet.

Just a side note – I guess it’s a good thing Tony Taylor doesn’t play in the major leagues anymore.

You’ll have to go back aways, but Taylor was a two-time All-Star for the Philadelphia Phillies in the 1960s and ‘70s (and later a coach for the Shreveport Captains in 1990-91) who was known to never wear a helmet at the plate. So what would MLB have done about that? Velcro the logo it to his hat?