I remember exactly where I was three years ago when my financial world changed. No, I didn’t win the lottery or get a visit from the IRS.

Instead, I was at the concession stand at Disch-Falk Field on the campus of the University of Texas for a baseball game and all I wanted was a soft pretzel (easy on the salt).

I whipped out my wallet from my back right pocket, pulled out the cash before seeing the look on the concessionaire’s face, which basically said “We’ve got another rube!”

Instead, I was actually told “Sir, we don’t accept cash.”

WHAT?!?!? Literally, my money was no good at Disch-Falk Field, so I was left with no choice. Out came the debit card.

I’d rather cut my toenails with a hacksaw than pay for singular items with a debit card. To me, it’s like writing a check to the Handee Mart on Tech Drive in Ruston for $0.76. (Yes, I did that in 1981 and I am still not proud of it.)

Until the Great Pretzel Incident in Austin, I had managed to avoid this financial blasphemy. And I have pretty much steered clear of it since. But I know it’s out there, mainly because I see it all the time at high school athletic events — and I go to about 100 of those a year.

The combination of working at a school and being a sports writer allows me the ability to walk right through the admission gate instead of having to scan a QR code or download an app. For that, I am one thankful dude.

All of this comes up because there is a bill in the Louisiana Legislature – House Bill 5 – that would require colleges to accept cash at sporting events. If needed, I am availabe for hire to be the chief lobbyist for this bill.

It’s being sponsored by Rep. Charles Owen of Rosepine and if my man Charlie wanted to have a real impact, he would expand that to include high schools. For all I care, just keep going from there.

Look, I get it. There are all kinds of reasons/excuses that they will give you for being “cashless.” Seems like it started with Covid, when apparently if two people touched the same dollar bill, instant death was sure to ensue.

There is also the ol’ nefarious Booster Club member, who gets sticky fingers behind the popcorn machine and walks out with pockets stuffed when it’s all said and done. LSU sent a note to the House saying that the bill could lead to a $75,000 annual loss of revenue for concession companies. So we need to be inconvenienced because you can’t make proper change for a $20?

And when all else fails, they’ll tell you that being cashless is “for convenience of our patrons.” LSU also argued that it will slow down concession lines. Sure, if everybody is at the ready with the chip card and taps the machine at the right time, that would speed things up.

Now come back to the real world.

It’s particularly troubling at high school games, where internet access for running credit cards can be sketchy. And wait until you see how the line gets backed up because MeeMaw has no idea what she has to do just to get inside the gate so see can watch little Trey.

The University of New Orleans suggested some concession stands should require reverse ATMs, which allow somebody to deposit cash and receive a temporary debit card.  That’s taking inconvenience to a new level. Think MeeMaw will go for that?

There is only one solution – have both. There’s nothing wrong with have the ability to pay online for game admittance or for two hot dogs and a bag of popcorn. Tap away with that chip card and the guy behind you will appreciate getting to the front of the line a little quicker.

But as long as someone is not counting out pennies to pay for a pizza slice, let the people who prefer cash still have the same opportunities as all of you chip-card-toting Millennials.

Before the pretzels gets stale.

Contact JJ at johnjamesmarshall@yahoo.com