Judge for yourself on what should happen to 62nd home run ball

Ask anyone who knows me and they will quickly confirm what I’m about to tell you – there are a lot of things I don’t understand.

TikTok, the stock market, construction in any form, loud trucks, why mayo is automatically added to a BLT (it’s not a BLTM!) … well, let’s just say it’s a long list.

But this whole Aaron Judge 62nd home run ball thing has quickly made it to the top of the list.

Let’s go over this for a moment. Judge of the New York Yankees hits home run No. 62, which may or may not be the “real” record, and Random Dude in Section 31, Row 1 catches it. Almost immediately, there is an offer for $2 million on the proverbial table for that baseball.

And now it’s game on, even though the game — and the regular season — are over.

Should Random Dude give the ball back?

Should the New York Yankees, or even Judge himself, match the price offered?

Who is the rightful owner of the ball? Judge did all the heavy lifting; RD just held his hands up and happened to be in the right place at the right time.

So let’s take this piece by piece. First, the easy part. I don’t get the whole sports memorabilia thing and I never will. I’ve got a great collection of autographs dating back to when my eight-year-old self stood outside the third base dugout at SPAR Stadium and got Joe DiMaggio’s autograph. (Upside down by the way, but that’s another story.)

I’ve got some good signatures, but they are mine. I’m not selling them, even though nobody was impressed enough to get me a job or a better date to Homecoming. Yes, I know everybody has their price, but I just looked outside and nobody is lining up.

So go ahead and offer $2 million for the Judge home run ball. Good for you. You’ll have the ball. I won’t. I’ll try to get on with my life.

The easier part to all of this is what Random Dude should do. Answer: Whatever the (#%!&) he wants to do with it.

If he wants to put it on the bookshelf beside his hole-in-one ball from the Member Fourball, go ahead.

If he wants to sell tickets and put it on display at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in a glass case with armed guards, then you do you, my man.

If he wants to sell it and retire on the spot, go gitcha sum. After all, it’s not like he has an emotional attachment to it. A week ago, the ball was in a cardboard box and waiting to have some mud from the Delaware River smeared on it to make it ready for play. Not exactly the Hope Diamond.

Just don’t tell me that Judge is the rightful owner of the ball. For that matter, so is Texas Rangers pitcher Jesus Tinoco, off whom the homer was hit. After all, he had it first!

(By the way, I saw this written – “27-year-old Texas Rangers pitcher Jesus Tinoco will forever be a part of baseball history.” I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that’s not going to happen. Cobb … Ruth … Mays … Aaron … Tinoco?)

So stop shaming Random Dude with the idea that he should “do the right thing.” And please Yankees, don’t offer him an autographed bat and suite tickets for a day game against the Royals next August and try to call it even.

Actually, the “right thing” would be to stop paying $2 million for a $10 baseball, but I’ll let that slide for now.

Contact JJ at johnjamesmarshall@yahoo.com