Jerry Jones says he wanted to retire as the NFL owner with the most Super Bowl wins. Of course, we all know how ridiculous that is.
Because Jerry Jones is never going to retire.
If ever there were an owner going out “feet first,” it’s the Dallas Cowboys patriarch.
Retire? Child, please.
OK, so maybe it’s going to be a little of a challenge. Ol’ Jer is 83 years old and he’s been stuck – and that’s putting it mildly – at three Lombardi trophies for the last 30 years. New England owner Robert Craft has six of those babies.
And Jerry is not even the leading octogenarian; Kraft is a year older than Jones.
But hey, why should we let the kids do all the goal setting!
“We’ve got three. How many more do I have to go as a single owner?” Jones said at his end-of-another-disappointing-season news conference. “So, I got work to do. Got work to do. But at least I’m up to the second rung in the ladder.”
So, more power to Mr. Jones. If he wins one every 30 years, he will be able to retire (if he so chooses) at a spry 203 years old. Take that Bob Kraft!
Do a quick Google check and it will tell you that the Rooney Family, owners of the Pittsburgh Steelers, can also claim six enchiladas. That does seem a little bogus since that family list includes every Rooney this side of Mickey or Andy.
There’s another roadblock out there since George Halas won eight titles, but that’s when things get a littler fuzzy. George won some of these as the coach but was the owner for all of them. But when he first started winning them, the team wasn’t known either as “Chicago” or “Bears.” Nor was it the National Football League. They were the Decatur Staleys of the American Professional Football League and there were apparently some shenanigans going on in the 1920s that allowed Halas to cop that first title.
By the way, Halas wasn’t just a coach and an owner; he was also a player. Talk about your triple threats …
Let’s see Jerry try to match that.
Which got me to thinking that maybe I should back away from the keyboard and start picking up the pace myself.
I’m only 18 major golf titles behind Jack Nicklaus. A new set of irons, a couple of lessons to brush up on the short game and I’d be ready to give it a shot. I figure one or two majors a year and before long Jack’s going to start sweating it out.
How many NBA titles did Michael Jordan win? Just get me on a decent team, put me on the end of the bench to be the “glue-guy” (whatever that is) and it’s just a matter of getting the correct ring size. Don’t laugh because somewhere out there, Will Perdue is walking around of four of those babies.
And I’m only 66. If Jerry’s going to spot me the 17 years, I might as well take advantage.
Give the man credit, though, because there aren’t a whole lot of 83 years olds walking around talking about future plans. Most don’t even buy green bananas.
Jones says he’s got work to do. Let the man work.
Contact JJ at johnjamesmarshall@yahoo.com