I’m tired of getting yelled at and I know it’s about to get much worse during this time of year.

No matter how used to it I may get, it still bothers me. Mainly because it’s so unnecessary.

Bad Christmas giving by me, you say? Though that might apply in several circumstances – don’t ever ask me to wrap a present unless you want a good laugh – this has nothing to do with the Christmas season.

There’s another reason for the season of yelling.

Sports announcers. Particularly football play-by-play announcers.

Gone are the days when the game was called at a relatively even decibel level, Sure, when something big happened, they’d take it up a notch or two. But they didn’t act as if it was the most incredible, spectacular, awesome thing even see on a football field since the invention of Red Grange.

It’s nothing but a yellfest these days, with one seemingly trying to outdo the others. Of course, everyone knows that’s a futile exercise as long as Gus Johnson of Fox Sports is anywhere near a microphone.

Thirty years ago, when I was the play-by-play dude for the Shreveport Pirates, Gus was cutting his teeth as the lead announcer for the CFL on ESPN2, so I heard a lot of his broadcasts. He was a little bit over the top, but that’s how ESPN2 was branding itself at the time. Gus was in his late 20s and trying to make a name for himself, so it seemed to work.

Compare that to the games he calls now on FOX and he might as well have been calling those CFL games in a public library.

But, hey, that’s Gus. You kinda know it going in. Yes, his call of the winning touchdown pass in the Indiana-Penn State game set a new standard for inaudible screaming but it’s best to just laugh it off.

It’s everyone not named Gus Johnson who are yelling as if their pants are on fire on every six-yard gain for a first down.

ESPN’s Chris Fowler goes out of his way to take it up way too many notches on a two-yard touchdown run in the first quarter. Watch and see how many times his voice inflection is raised for something that is truly unremarkable.

But he is just one of many. Any time Joe Tessitore or Bob Wischusen call a game, they want you to believe this is the most intense and drama-filled game that has ever been played. Both will use the word “crucial” as often as possible, because they think you need to know that this game is as important anything that’s ever been televised.

Up to and including man walking on the moon.

It’s easy to pick on those guys because they are always on the big games, but now that we are in bowl season, they’ll be trotting out C-list announcers to call some of these games. And those guys know that the only way to make it in this business to make the game seem like it’s Armageddon to the half-asleep-on-the-couch viewer at home.

One of the greatest college calls I have ever heard – and one of the greatest plays I’ve ever seen – came in the 1984 Orange Bowl between Nebraska and Miami. It was a thrilling game throughout as Nebraska tried to hold on to the No. 1 ranking (and reputation as one of the greatest teams ever) while staging a late comeback against the then-upstart Hurricanes.

With less than a minute to play, Nebraska had fourth-and-eight from the Miami 24 and ran – get this – and used a reserve option pitch to running back Jeff Smith.

It was a stunning play choice, but Smith took the pitch from Turner Gill and outraced the Hurricane defense to the end zone.

Here’s how Don Criqui (a personal favorite of mine) called it.

“Look at this play … Jeff Smith … Touchdown Nebraska!”

That’s it. Simple as that. You could tell the excitement in his voice because it was an amazing play under the circumstances. But there was no need to go overboard and he didn’t.

When the Detroit Tigers came back and won the final three games of the 1968 World Series over the favored St. Louis Cardinals, on a foul popup to end it, all NBC’s Harry Carey said was “Detroit is the new World Champion!”

This year, when the Dodgers won the World Series, I think FOX’s Joe Davis is still having to towel himself off. I would type in all the words he screamed on the last play of the game, but my fingers would get sore trying to transcribe all of it.

I hate to think what’s going to happen when Utah State converts a two-point play in the second quarter of the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl.

Contact JJ at johnjamesmarshall@yahoo.com