Leave it to former LSU football coach Les Miles to find a new way to stay in the news.
Les would like to be in the College Football Hall of Fame and some (mostly Les) might argue that he had a career that would merit consideration. After all, he did win a national championship. (Then again, so did Auburn’s Gene Chizik and nobody is writing his acceptance speech any time soon.)
There is one major roadblock standing in the way for Les: He’s not eligible, as currently constituted. While no one was looking, someone snuck in a rule that coaches must have a .600 winning percentage to be eligible for Hall of Fame consideration.
Les is at .597 because of the 37 wins LSU vacated as a sacrifice to the NCAA as part of an investigation of the men’s basketball and football programs.
He would be over the magic mark had not LSU forfeited the wins from 2012 to 2015 after NCAA sanctions were handed down for violations while Les was head coach. Without the forfeits, Les would be at .665.
So if Les is going to bring a frivolous lawsuit against LSU, you can bet there are some LSU fans who would like nothing better than to counter by suing Les Miles under these statutes:
(NON) TRESPASSING: If it were up to many LSU fans, the case file of this counter suit would be numbered 01-09-2012, in keeping with the date perhaps the worst loss in LSU history that many hold Les responsible for as Alabama won the national championship over the No. 1-ranked Tigers. Stubbornly holding on to a plan (and personnel) that didn’t work, Miles had an offense that did not set foot in Alabama territory until seven minutes were left in the game. LSU had only one first down in the first half and punted on six straight possessions.
MISAPPROPRIATION (OF CLOCKS): Before these allegations are brought before the court, let’s take a moment to recognize that there is a difference between gutsy play calls and reckless play calls. Les Miles going for it on fourth down five times against Florida in 2007 is gutsy, but made sense if you were watching the game. Since then you see plenty of coaches go for it in much crazier circumstances (Washington vs. Oregon last year).
But then there is Tennessee, 2010, when LSU won despite completing botching the final 25 seconds, only to get bailed out by Tennessee having too many men on the field.
And the Peach Bowl against Clemson in 2012, when LSU had a two-point lead with 2:47 to go and tried to run the clock out by tossing three straight passes (two incomplete).
And the Penn State bowl game in 2010.
Or trying to call time out after an interception (which automatically stopped the clock) against Tennessee in 2005.
Or Auburn, 2016.
Some say Ole Miss, 2009, was the worst, when the Tigers lost 17 seconds when the team tried for a timeout and didn’t get it, then confusion set in so LSU went for the end zone on the last play of the game and came up short at the Ole Miss 6 with 1 second left, then tried to spike the ball as the clock ran out. “What are they doooooing?” screamed Verne Lundquist on CBS.
DESTRUCTION OF PUBLIC PROPERTY: Think of all of those people who meticulously work for months to get the field at Tiger Stadium in pristine condition. All of that hard work, just to have your head coach start eating the grass during the middle of the game.
SELF-INCRIMINATION: Here’s the craziest part of this crazy lawsuit. If Les hasn’t continued to coach after being excused at LSU, he’s be over the .600 mark even with the forfeits. Did somebody put a gun to his head and force him to coach Kansas? It was only after “leading” the Jayhawks to a 3-18 record in two years did his winning percentage fall under the magic .600 mark.
Contact JJ at johnjamesmarshall@yahoo.com