A wayward camel, the NCAA, and Dolly: Tupperware Tales, Chapter 5

Table scraps …

From the “You Really Aren’t Having A Bad Day” Files: It’s been nearly two weeks since several news services reported that two men at a Tennessee farm were killed by a “rampaging camel.” The farm housed several kinds of animals and no reason was given for the camel’s rampage. The bottom line is that, if you get attacked by a camel, and in Tennessee of all places, it ain’t your day…

A baseball team I follow has some long bus trips so I suspected it would be thoughtful and different to get them some playing cards along with some silly things, games children play with like Etch-A-Sketches and a magnetic checker set and some Wooly Willy drawing games, the ones where you put the “magic wand” against the plastic and it pulls little slivers of iron where you want them to go so you decorate the face of Willy. And then I thought how that was the stupidest idea I’d ever had—and it’s a long line—because all these dudes do is play on their phones and listen to music. Would have been a great idea—in the mid-80s…

Can’t give you the link here ’cause we don’t want you jumping to another site BUT in honor of these first days of spring, take 30 seconds and find “Welcome, Sweet Springtime: The Andy Griffith Show” on YouTube or the site of your choice and listen to Barney, very flatly, usher in the new season. Good ol’ 14A in your songbook. Never gets old …

To paraphrase Kris Kristofferson, my NCAA Tournament Bracket woke up Sunday morning with no way to hold its head that it didn’t hurt. Over the span of 48 hours, from the Opening Round of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament through Saturday of the Second Round, my little black-and-blue bracket went from “tightness in the joints” to “full body cast.” …

BUT … to paraphrase singer-songwriter Travis Tritt, “Here’s a quarter, call someone who cares.” Because no one cares about your NCAA bracket. No one but you cares that you had Kentucky and flamed out on ascent or that you pulled a rabbit out of the hat and picked St. Peter’s. No one even cares if your bracket is leading in any of the groups you have joined, because everyone knew SOMEbody was going to win—somebody besides them. Nobody knows the trouble your bracket has seen—but no gives the slightest rat’s rip either. If it makes you feel any better, anything your bracket can do, mine can do worse. We might be enjoying the first days of spring, but it remains a cold, cold world. (Just ask anyone who’s been attacked by a camel, hard by the Tennessee River)…

Speaking of hoops, one good thing that’s come from the pandemic is that very few men’s basketball coaches wear coats and ties on the sidelines anymore. They dress down. They used to look like they were going to call time out, then take up offering. Most women’s coaches still dress up for games, but for them, dressing down is still dressing up when compared to guys. We like to think we’re dressed up if we have our shoes tied…

Country Music Hall of Famer and perpetual wonder woman Dolly Parton has teamed with bestselling author James Patterson to write a climbing-the-charts mystery, “Run, Rose, Run,” a novel about a young female singer with hopes to make it big, but a secret from her past might destroy her. I’m good as long as the secret isn’t that she killed Porter Wagoner…

For all you Bracket Folk, good luck this weekend in the Sweet 16 (and no, do NOT tell us who you’ve picked; it’ll save us both the embarrassment).

And, if at all possible, stay away from camels: any one of them might have picked Kentucky or Wisconsin to win it all and be in a surly mood.

Welcome, Sweet Springtime.